Yumi watched the UPS delivery man struggle to maneuver a box twice his size up the front steps to her condo door. It was -pull, tug, swing, lift- up every step for 57 steps. He’d been at it for half the morning. She knew what was in the box and she knew that it weighed more than 80 kilograms because that’s what it said on the website, but damn if she was going to lift a finger to help him. Eighty kilograms is a lot of weight and 57 steps is a lot of stairs. She wasn’t going to lift a box that heavy and risk a hernia, a thrown-out back or, multiple fractures if she slipped and fell and the damn thing landed on her. UPS guys get paid a lot of money. Today, this guy was going to earn his.
She heard about this gift from her cousin, Yuki, who lived in Nagoya, Japan. These things were all the rage there, Yuki said. Every Japanese girl was getting one for her husband or boyfriend. It was supposed to be the perfect gift for the man who never has enough. Her boyfriend, Wendal, never seemed to have enough toys, especially anything anime. This gift was going to blow away all the other cheap toys and trinkets she’d given him in the past. And why not spoil him? She had a lot to make up for. With her recent promotion at work she was spending a lot more time traveling and away from him. He kept whining and going on about it. Why not reward him with something on his birthday that would distract him while she was away? This gift would keep him quiet and happy for a long time. It would be a hell of a surprise for him when he returned from the comic book convention.
A loud “wallop” sound came from her front porch. It was followed by a very soft rapping sound that faintly sounded like knocking at her front door. Yumi ran to answer it.
“Hello?” she said from behind her closed door.
She heard what sounded like panting from the other side. That was followed by an exclamation of great pain followed by, intermittent rants of profanity, some more panting, and finally a tired, worn out male voice. “It’s UPS…oh god!…huff, huff, huff…Christ, my fucking knees…delivery…uh, oh, uh,…ugh, my goddamn back…package for you.”
“Just a moment,” Yumi chirped happily. She undid the 3 chains, two deadbolts and three locks on her door. No burglar had ever bothered to climb the 57 steps to rob her place, but she figured you can never be too certain. Yumi gaped at the six-foot tall cardboard box and the UPS delivery man who had probably been quite a prize about 57 steps ago. But now he was just a sweaty, panting shell of his former self. “Oh, hi! What a surprise! For me?”
“You are Yumi Van der Hoven aren’t you? Dear, Lord God, tell me you are Yumi Van der Hoven.” The delivery man looked at Yumi a bit frantically.
A devilish thought popped into her mind to say something that would completely destroy the young man’s will to live. But then she remembered the box and the gift.
“Yes, I’m Yumi,” she said smiling.
“Oh, thank goodness,” he gasped and thrust the electronic clipboard toward her. “Here, sign this.”
“I would really prefer that the box be moved here, inside,” she said and walked into the living room, about fifteen feet away from the door.
“You’ve got to be kidding me?” the delivery man said, his eyes bugging out. “It took me more than two hours to get this damn thing up all those steps. My back is killing me. What the hell is this thing, a fridge?”
“No, nothing like that. You won’t have to move it very far. It’s just a little ways over level ground.”
“Well, could you give me a hand?”
“Wish I could help you. But we Van der Hovens have a history of weak backs and I’m pretty frail to begin with. Besides, what’s a few more feet after that long hike up the stairs?”
Reluctantly, the delivery man pushed and shoved the heavy box across Yumi’s floor.
“Careful, don’t rip the carpet.”
There was more muttering of profanity, but finally the deed was done. “Now, will you sign for it?” He thrust the clipboard at her again.
Yumi began to sign her name on the signature line with the plastic utensil attached to the clipboard. She glanced up at the delivery man briefly before she finished. Sure enough, as tired as he was, he was staring at her tits. Guys were always staring at her tits. Yes, she knew that Amerasian girls were an exotic oddity. And an Amerasian girl with a 36DD rack was even more of an exotic oddity. Certainly, wearing tight, low-cut sweaters, like the one she was wearing that day only made it more difficult for men to avert their gaze. But once, just once, couldn’t a man stare at her ass? Would it hurt that much just to say something like, “Wow! Girl, you’ve got a nice ass!” It was always the tits.
“Excuse me, I’m having difficulty writing like this,” Yumi said. She sashayed over to her computer desk, her long, black pigtails swaying to and fro and pooched out her ass. “It’s much easier to write…bent over like this.” She had her back facing him and she turned to look his way only to discover that he was down on all fours, panting heavily and completely oblivious to her preening.
“What…huff, huff, huff…ever…huff, huff, huff…works lady.”
Disappointed, Yumi completed her signature and gave the man back his clipboard. “You’re not going to throw-up are you?”
He looked up at her in amazement. “No lady, I’m just trying to catch my breath.”
“Well, please do it outside.” She walked over to the door to see him out. The man staggered to his knees and trudged out the door, cursing, as Yumi slammed the door behind him.
“Have a nice day,” he yelled from behind the closed door.
That was probably sarcasm, she thought.
Yumi examined the large cardboard box. Its girth was twice her size. She looked up and down the box trying to find the words, “Open here.” But it was of no use. All of the writing on the box was in Japanese, and as much as she had been harangued by her mother, aunts, sisters and cousins to learn her grandparents’ native tongue, she couldn’t speak a lick of it. Finally, she pulled on a plastic tab on the top and all four sides of the cardboard box fell to the ground simultaneously. What she saw staring back at her was astonishing.
Looking unemotionally back at Yumi was a five-foot three, 175 pound, beautiful Japanese girl-robot with perfect skin and astonishingly white teeth.
“Oh my, you’re cuter than I thought you would be,” Yumi said to the robot, but the robot did not move. It continued to stare straight ahead. “Your eyes are a little creepy, but they did a fantastic job on your hair. It’s so straight and shiny. You’ll have to tell me what kind of conditioner you use.”
The robot didn’t respond. It continued to stare straight ahead. Yumi thought that 80 kilos was a lot for a short, slender robot to weigh, but figured she must have been full of a lot of metallic parts. Yumi didn’t see an “On” switch, but she did find a large owner’s manual in the robot’s left hand. She flipped through it. There were 24 pages of instructions in Japanese, then 24 pages in French, 24 pages in Mandarin, then Tagalog, then Russian, then German and finally at the back of the book was English. “Of course, put your most important customers at the end,” she thought, and began reading the introduction.
“Happiness is bright and sunny,” it read. “You purchaser of many good times with very glad robot girl.” Yumi imagined the technical writer to be some sort of dork that probably had only taken a year of English in high school. Then she remembered her skills at speaking Japanese and decided that his writing skills probably weren’t all that bad.
“My name is Masuko,” the manual continued in italics, presumably indicating these were Masuko’s own words. “You will know pleasure in many ways.”
“Hi Masuko,” Yumi said to the robot. The robot stared straight ahead and said nothing. Yumi scratched her head. “Where is your “On” button?” She continued to read the manual. After six paragraphs of Masuko describing her pleasurable wonderfulness, Yumi found the crucial instructions.
“My good time button is on my inner thigh place.”
Yumi lifted up Masuko’s slightly conservative, office appropriate, skirt and ran her hand up the robot’s inner thigh. About an inch away from its robot vagina, Yumi located the power switch and flipped it on. Masuko came to life, blinking her eyes, standing on her toes, smiling joyfully and spreading her arms in a welcoming gesture.
“You turn me on!” Masuko said.
Yumi adjusted her glasses. “Yes, I have that affect on people”
The robot tittered, gesticulated with its hands and proceeded to babble a long story in Japanese. Its pale eyes glistened and came to life. Its plump red lips began to flap at a mile a minute and its delicate hands reached out in a comforting manner.
“Where’s your language changing button?” Yumi asked Masuko before she reached for the manual again. On page six of the English portion of the instructions she found her answer. Yumi felt flush. Then she read the instructions again. She hesitated, then read the instructions a third time. Finally, she delicately reached up the robots rectum and rotated the knob.
Masuko cycled through all of her languages: French, Mandarin, Tagalog, German, Russian and finally English. Masuko raised her hands to her mouth and giggled. “You touch me in most personal place. Hee, hee, hee.”
“Believe me,” Yumi said. “I went through six years of business school so that I could avoid becoming a proctologist.” She sniffed at her fingers. Surprisingly, they smelled like metal and machine lubricant.
“You’re very tall,” said Masuko.
Yumi was five-foot two. “Well…”
“And you are very broad. You have many muscles.”
Yumi was 123 pounds and hadn’t been to the gym in more than three years. “Perhaps, you should be wearing these glasses.”
“You make me glow warm near my power switch.”
“I like it,” Yumi said. “An excellent pick-up line. You don’t waste any time, do you Masuko?”
Masuko grinned and held out her arms in an embracing gesture.
Yumi flipped through the instruction manual to determine what the next step was for operating Masuko, but could only determine that the robot responded to verbal commands. There weren’t any other switches or a remote control.
“Verbal commands,” Yumi thought. “How bleeding edge. I better be careful what I say.”
“Okay, Masuko,” Yumi said to the anxious robot. “Make me happy.”
Masuko’s eyes brightened. “You like delicious kisses?”
Yumi felt adventurous. “I would love some delicious kisses.”
The robot gracefully approached Yumi, dipped her like a doughnut in a cup of coffee and planted a long, hard kiss on her lips that would have made Rudolph Valentino blush. Then Masuko abruptly released Yumi and carelessly dropped her to the floor. Yumi felt that Masuko was a fantastic kisser but the rubber and silicone aftertaste was somewhat less than appealing.
“Wow!” Yumi said. “Wendal is going to get a big kick out of this. We just need to get you some mouthwash and breath fresheners.”
“I make you very happy,” Masuko said.
“You’re off to a good start. What else can you do?”
“My hugs are most pleasing. There will be good times.”
“I’m game. Let’s find out if I got my money’s worth.” Yumi picked herself up off the floor and approached the robot girl. “Give me a big hug, Masuko. Just try to be gentle.”
Masuko’s face lit up and she smiled the way a dentist does when he breaks the bad news to you that you have four cavities that need filling immediately right after explaining to you how difficult it is to put two daughters through college. Masuko reached around and embraced Yumi very delicately.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Yumi said. “Your hugs are very warm and comforting. Can you put a little more into it?”
Masuko embraced Yumi tightly. A little too tightly for Yumi’s liking.
“Okay, stop, Masuko.”
Masuko didn’t stop. Yumi felt her chest compressing and aching pain throughout her rib cage. “Stop, stop,” Yumi pleaded. But Masuko continued to embrace her. “Down, off, stay!” Yumi commanded, hoping that Masuko would obey dog commands, but she continued her tightening grip around Yumi’s chest. Yumi was struggling for breath when she pounded on Masuko’s back. The robot instantly let go of her dropping Yumi to the floor again. Yumi gasped for breath.
“Wow!” Yumi said breathing in and out deeply. “If you weren’t a girl robot, you could enter the World’s Strongest Man competition. That’s quite an embrace.”
“You are a woman,” Masuko said frankly.
Yumi was uncertain if her words were meant as an insult or as a rather delayed observation.
“Your boobs are very big. I can make you happy.”
Now that most definitely was a pick up line that Yumi had heard many times. But it made her realize that Masuko relied more on her tactile senses rather than her visual senses.
“Ahem.” Yumi was still a bit choked from the hugging incident and struggled to regain her voice, raspy as it was. “You can make girls happy too, huh? What will you do to make me happy?”
“I vibrate. I vibrate at 1,000 cycles per minute. You will be happy. Pleasure is near.”
“Sounds enticing,” Yumi said. By now she had completely forgotten her purpose for purchasing Masuko. “I’m ready for some good vibrations.”
Masuko approached Yumi and placed her right hand over her cooch and her left hand firmly around the small of Yumi’s back just above her buttocks. Slowly Masuko began to vibrate. Yumi enjoyed it. The vibrations were slow, deep and sensual. Yumi was almost, but not quite, getting turned on.
“Uh, that ain’t no 1,000 cycles per minute. Can you turn it up a notch?”
Masuko did not comply. Apparently, Yumi thought, one needed to use the right words.
“Faster, can you go a little faster, Masuko?”
Those were the right words. Soon, Masuko’s hands were vibrating incredibly fast and Yumi came closer to orgasm.
“Ooh, that is so much better,” Yumi said. “Can you move a little closer to my happy spot and pick up the speed? I mean can you go ‘faster’?”
Masuko repositioned herself, moving her right hand into Yumi’s vagina and her left hand firmly around her bottom. To get a better grip, she stood atop Yumi’s toes which were completely exposed because of the summer sandals she was wearing. Masuko’s whole body began to vibrate and she felt much heavier than her 80 kilos.
Yumi wrapped her arms around Masuko and began to orgasm. But in the middle of one of the most fantastic orgasms she ever had she began to notice incredible pain in her toes as Masuko bounced up and down on them in her high heels.
“You’re hurting…me…uh,” Yumi shouted in between throes of orgasmic ecstasy. “Get…oh…off…aah…of me.” But Masuko did not comply. Yumi tried to pound Masuko’s back, but between the vibrations and her orgasm, she had difficulty reaching around far enough. Yumi heard a crack and then a shooting pain that started in her left pinkie toe and ran up her whole body.
“Ow! Oh!” Yumi was alternating between pain and ecstasy. Masuko was doing things to her that Wendal could only dream of, but Yumi wasn’t sure how much of this pain she could endure. There were more cracks and crunches as one by one Yumi’s toes began to break under the weight and pressure of Masuko. “Crack, crunch, pop!” The bones in her toes continued to splinter and fracture. After she counted off more than ten cracks, Yumi knew that all of her toes had been broken and now Masuko’s weight and vibrations were creating multiple fractures in each toe. The pain became unendurable and Yumi no longer cared about enjoying history’s greatest orgasm.
“Stop!” she bellowed and reached up between Masuko’s legs and pounded on her robot tailbone. Masuko stopped vibrating and stepped off of Yumi’s toes. She let her arms fall down to her sides and grinned like a playful, eager puppy.
“You enjoy my pleasure,” Masuko said. “That was good time. We are a good pair.”
Yumi examined her crushed toes and feet. Her ten toes were a grotesque cacophony of digits pointing in ten different abnormal directions. Her feet were a pallet of colors: purple, blue, red, yellow and violet. They throbbed with intense pain. Yumi tried to massage them, but the slightest touch sent waves of pain shooting up her legs. She realized her feet were useless for walking without toes to help keep her balanced.
“You’ve crippled me, you cunt!” Yumi yelled at Masuko. She knew that she had to call for an ambulance. Attempting to drive in her condition was out of the question. But her cell phone was upstairs in the bedroom. She would have to crawl up the stairs to call for help. On her knees, with her throbbing toes lifted off the ground, Yumi started to crawl around Masuko towards the staircase.
“I like you much,” Masuko said to Yumi as she watched her crawl by. “We have pleasure time again.”
“No!” Yumi screamed. She was in no mood for Masuko’s viscous love-making. “Stop this minute!” Yumi reached up Masuko’s thigh to find her off switch, but the horny robot grabbed her by the wrist.
“You want to delight Masuko, but Masuko want to delight you,” she said displaying a sadistic mechanical leer.
“I don’t need any more delighting,” Yumi said. “You’ve done enough delighting for one day.” But Masuko did not want to be turned off. She twisted Yumi’s arm around behind her back causing it to crack in a number of places.
“Oww!” Yumi screamed as the new pain in her arm now overwhelmed the feeling of pain she had in her toes. “Let go of me you overzealous can opener.”
“Now I be the boy,” Masuko said whimsically as she began to mount Yumi from behind. “You strap man-thing on me. I make you very happy.”
“Ack!” Yumi yelled in horror. Get off of me you nymphomatic toaster. Stop! Stop! Stop!”
Masuko did not stop. She proceeded to hump Yumi, pinning her knees on top of the back of Yumi’s legs and grasping both of her arms with her hands forcing Yumi’s nose to the carpet. “We make happy now. I have tantalizing tongue. It moves at 10,000 cycles per minute. You enjoy!”
Yumi gave up on the staircase and turned for the door, hoping she could attract the attention of a passing stranger. But Masuko kept her pinned in place as she cycled up.
“Help!” Yumi yelled as loud as she could, but with the front door still closed she knew it would be nearly impossible for anyone to hear her.
Masuko ramped up her cycles and pounded her heavy, robot frame against Yumi’s helpless body. With Masuko’s vice-like grips, Yumi was unable to escape the severe beating. The robot’s relentless thrusting caused Yumi’s other arm to snap and then both of her legs cracked where they were pinned down by Masuko’s knees. The machine continued unabated.
Yumi demanded that Masuko stop, but she would not listen to her commands. Pinned down with two broken arms there was no way she could pound the robot on the back. She tried calling out for help again, but still there was no answer. She sustained several more minutes of severe pounding when she heard a knock at the door.
“Thank God,” Yumi gasped.
“Good afternoon young lady,” the effervescent voice from the other side of the door said. “I’m from the Seventh Day Witnesses. Have you seriously thought about the day when you will meet your maker?”
“I’m being attacked by her right now,” shouted Yumi. “Help me! Get in here right away!”
“Hot dog!” the young clean shaven man said. “A soul that needs saving.” He tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. “You’ll need to unlock the door for me, Miss.”
“I can’t,” Yumi said. “I’m being raped by an appliance! You’ll just have to smash through the window.”
The young proselytizer examined the window. It was double-pane storm glass. He was going to need something sturdy.
“Hurry,” Yumi said. “I don’t think I can hold out much longer. It’s busting every bone in my body.”
He looked all over her patio, but saw nothing practical that he could pick up and smash through the window. Then he spotted it—an abandoned UPS hand truck. “Where did that come from?” he thought. “You don’t mind my breaking your window? I really abhor violence.”
“What do you think is going on in here? Break the damn window!”
He picked up the hand truck and tossed it through the window. Glass flew in all directions. Using his prayer text he pushed out the jagged remains of the glass. He couldn’t get over the window frame, but was able to unlock the chains and deadbolts by reaching through it. When he entered Yumi’s condo he encountered the image of a small Japanese girl robot humping a badly injured and bleeding Amerasian woman from behind.
“Jesus Christ lady!”
“Hurry, reach up her twat and turn her off.”
“Excuse me,” the offended man said. “I have religious convictions. I can’t just reach up any piece of skirt and…”
“Reach up her twat, you twit! Just do it!”
The young man moved around Masuko, closed his eyes and reached up her skirt, locating the switch near her mechanical vagina. Masuko’s humping came to a slowing stop. With one last effort she heaved the crumbled body of Yumi above her head and tossed her through the open door where she tumbled like a rag-doll down 57 stairs, landing in a heap on the sidewalk.
Masuko sat contented on her rump with both her legs splayed out on the floor. Reddish-brown machine lubricant spilled like drool from her mouth.
The young man held up his prayer text in front of Masuko. “I cast this evil sin away and banish the devilish soul of yonder foul machine.”
Slowly and mechanically, Masuko uttered a last, hopeful appeal to the young man. “We make happy pair. You will know unworldly pleasure.”
The call from the surgeon surprised Wendal as he walked briskly through the airport terminal with his carry-on. The surgeon was vague about the nature of Yumi’s accident and sounded about as embarrassed as a medical doctor could be. Wendal was reassured that his girlfriend was recovering fine but the surgeon did not want to explain the severity of her injuries over the phone.
When he got to the hospital room, he was taken aback by the full extent of Yumi’s accident.
She was wrapped up in plaster bandages from top to bottom. Yumi’s head was encased in plaster with only two small slits for her eyes, and two smaller slits for her nose and mouth. Two long, black pigtails protruded from the top of her head cast. Wendal was relieved to see that she wasn’t shaven bald. Also, a new pair of extra-wide eyeglasses nestled on the plaster bridge of her nose. Yumi’s neck was ensconced in a think foam collar and the entire top half of her body was swathed in plaster bandages running from the tips of both hands, over her arms and chest and down to her mid-section. Yumi was so tightly wrapped, it was impossible to tell that there was a buxom young woman underneath all those bandages. Both of her arms were placed in slings that were suspended from the ceiling. Her legs dangled precariously high above her. Both of these were placed in slings at the ankles. The plaster casts for each of her toes and looked to have extra cotton padding around each toe. Each toe was suspended by its own sling consisting of a plastic loop that cradled the broken digit and a steel wire that connected the loop to the bed frame and was held in place with a clamp. Her legs were propped up at such an angle that the bottoms of her casted feet were practically parallel to the ceiling. The casts on her legs ran all the way up to the tops of her thighs so that the only visible part of her body not covered in plaster bandages was her bruised bottom and the red silken panties he had given her as a Christmas gift.
“So,” he said haltingly.
“So…” she responded, her voice aching in defeat. “…How was the convention?”
Wendal lit up. “The convention was great! I had the time of my life. I got to meet my blogger friends face-to-face, the Dr. Witherthow costume I wore was a big hit and I even got my favorite artist to sign my first print graphic novel, “Doom Knows No Bounds.” I had a blast. Er, how was your weekend?”
“Well, pretty entertaining, all in all. I try not to let the bad outweigh the good. Certainly, it will be one I remember for a very long time.”
“Yeah, I was sorry to hear about your little mishap. I’ll just try to put the pieces together myself. You can fill in the details when you’re a little less traumatized.”
“Thank you,” Yumi said, relieved. “There might be a little bit of a delay in my getting you your birthday present this year. My doctor thinks it will be about a seven to eight month delay.”
“I understand,” he said. “Really, just letting me go to the convention was a gift in itself.”
“Or…” Yumi thought quickly. “You could just accept me as a gift. I already come wrapped.”
“Now that’s a pretty good gift,” he said and he threw his arms around her casted torso and gave her the kind of warm, gentle hug that no appliance could match. After a good, long embrace, he released her. “Sorry, the doctor said I only had a few minutes. You need as much rest as you can get. But I’ll come to visit as soon as they’ll let me.”
They kissed and he went to leave, but he turned around to have a final look at her. She was quite a sight with her legs suspended halfway up to the ceiling.
“You know,” he said. “I never noticed this before, but you have one hell of a gorgeous ass. I’m gonna get you some more silk panties.”
He left her hospital room with promises of returning as soon as the doctors would allow. Yumi smiled a deeply satisfying smile behind her plaster mask and thought, “That Wendal, he’s a keeper.”